Is it time to rekindle the spark in your marriage?
After several years together, a couple’s passion can begin to fade. What can you do about it?
“Date your wife,” advises AllProDad. “How did she fall in love with you in the first place? You went out. You did fun stuff together. You held hands in the movie theater. You took walks on the beach. See the correlation?”
“Add a little courtesy,” continues the AllProDad website, which is dedicated to helping fathers “become passionate about their role in their family’s life.”
“Hold the door for her — the car door and any door you can find,” advise the editors. “Hold the chair and especially do this at home. Say ‘thank you’ for dinner, for coffee, for a pressed shirt. Bring her a cold drink on a hot day. Mute the television when you’re talking; better yet, turn it off. You say you’d do anything for her, right? So do it.”
That’s a tough assignment for any husband who has been less than attentive -- such as Jed King in the upcoming movie THE SONG. Released by Samuel Goldwyn Films and City on a Hill Productions, the film describes the enticing romance and marriage of a vineyard-owner’s daughter and a wanna-be songwriter. What moviegoers may not realize is that Jed and Rose King’s love story is based on the writings of ancient biblical monarch and famed ladies’ man King Solomon.
Flip through the pages of the Song of Solomon, his often-overlooked book of the Bible, and you may be startled at Solomon’s graphic descriptions of marital bliss -- and his physical relationship with his sexy and seductive Rose of Sharon.
Just as disturbing are Solomon’s moody musings in the Book of Ecclesiastes. His fires of passion have cooled. His great love is not mentioned.
So, how can you keep from ending up like Solomon? Fortunately, most American men only have one wife – as opposed to Solomon, who had to romance 1,000.
That’s right – history tells us he married 700 women, including several princesses of the superpowers of his day. The marriages ensured peace for Solomon’s kingdom – after all, is the Pharaoh of Egypt going to attack his son in law? Additionally, Solomon had 300 concubines – not quite wives, but not mistresses, either.
How did he -- and how can you, a modern-day husband keep the romance alive? “Make her feel special,” advises AllProDad. That can include opening doors and “flowers for no reason.” Leave the occasional “I love you and this is why” card on the pillow, her desk at work, or under the wiper blade of her car. Stop her, ask her to stand still, then back away to walk around her, saying things like “Wow,” and “I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” and “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
“We’re just talking about a little effort and imagination here,” urge the editors.
What else? “Don’t be a slob.Shower, shave, brush your hair, wear nice clothes around her, and deliberately take care of yourself. Do it for her. The Italians call this, Bella figura. But it’s about more than looking good; it's realizing the importance of a lifestyle that emphasizes aesthetics and good behavior.
“Say ‘I love you,’ and say it often: The #1 misnomer believed by unromantic men is this, ‘I shouldn’t have to say it – she should know.’ Saying ‘I love you’ is the opposite of inflationary; it turns out ‘I love you’ amplifies exponentially with usage.”
There’s more: “Be kind: Kindness could well be the “X-Factor” in romance. Being kind is underplayed, undervalued, underrated, and certainly underutilized. Want romance? Be ‘Mr. Kindness.’ Learn to make thoughtfulness and consideration your second nature. Nice-guys really do finish first – and she’ll fall for you all over again.
“Tell her she’s beautiful: Women who hear their husband tell them they’re beautiful become more beautiful. Men who tell their wives they’re beautiful believe it with more conviction every time the words leave their lips.”
And don’t make the mistake that Jed King does in THE SONG. He writes a love song that turns into a mega-hit. His overnight celebrity puts him on long concert tours – where his eye begins to wander. King begins to fall for a backup musician played by the beautiful Ari Faulkner of the Twilight movie saga.
That’s a big mistake, says AllProDad.
“Spend uninterrupted time together: There are only 168 hours in each week – the number never varies. The amount of time we offer our relationships can appear like a vote as to how much we value the people we say we love.
“Romance, like anything else worthwhile, is worth the investment of time and attention.”
THE SONG hits theaters nationwide on September 26. To check on nearby theaters and show times and to reserve your tickets, click HERE.